Making Conversation

 I said I would do the things that scare me. And that's what I'm doing.
 I am horribly afraid of talking to people. I'm also afraid of putting myself out there. Because I might look stupid, and then everyone will laugh.
 This week, I have committed to making conversation. 
 And, I've committed to making eye-contact, instead of staring at the floor all the time.
 Today, at the hospital, I tested the waters. I had to go and get some lab work done, and that provided lots of social interaction opportunities. I talked to the people in the lobby, the lady in the elevator, the lady at the front desk, the nurse who drew my blood, and the man who stood there and watched her (sounds creepy, but he was a student. He was required to watch). I even joked around with the nurse. She asked me my birthdate, and I said, "What would you say if I told you it was 13-32-2016?" 
  She laughed, "It would probably take me a minute to realize what you said."
 I said, "Well, as long as you don't just agree with me and then pull out your needle... cause if you do that, I'm outta here!"
 It was nice. I like talking to people. Everybody was actually friendly. And nobody laughed at me, or acted like I was stupid.
 Are you shy and introverted, but wish you could be more outgoing? Then join me on my journey to the land of social skills! Not everyone will be nice, but it seems like there are friendly people out there. They are as afraid to break the ice as you are.
 And they're probably also afraid because there are people out there who will actually kill you if you look at them.
 It's a jungle out there.
 Tiene cuidado! Or however that goes...
 
 The grace of the Lord be with you as you go!
 -Samantha

Fear of Life

 Death is a really scary thing. Nobody seems to know for sure what's on the other side. Do we reincarnate according to how good we were on earth? Do we go to the grave and cease to exist? Do we hover above the clouds somewhere and become one with the earth? Or even scarier, is there really a God to be accountable to, and a Hell reserved for sinners? *shudder*
 Well, I'm a Christian who believes in Jesus Christ for my salvation, so I believe in Heaven after death. That's a nice thought.
 But my point is, most people are at least a little bit afraid of death because they don't know what to expect. Even for a Bible Believer like me, I'm like, "Well, what if I don't actually like Heaven? I don't want to die right now..." *wince*
 Death is scary. There is so much that is unknown.
 But....
 I was thinking today, and I realized that I might actually be more afraid of life than I am of death. I'm crazy! If you think about it though, life is hard, and very unpredictable!
 I'm facing some difficult decisions right now (isn't everyone?) and I'm shaking in my boots!
 I want to finally go to college,
    but I need to get a job first,
      and I can't compromise my newfound health...

 It's long and complicated. And it's scary.

 I'm afraid to plan for college, because what if something happens and I can't go? What if my health fails again? What will I do if I'm stuck being dependent on my parents for the rest of my life? How will I handle that mentally?
 Phew, too many questions; too much worry.

 Fact:
 Tomorrow isn't here yet.
 There is no need to sit around and worry about what could happen in the future. It probably won't be anything like I imagine anyway! And five years ago, when I looked timidly into the future, I felt the same way! But I made it through those five years by the grace of God... If I made it then, then God will bring me through the next five years of my life (If there happen to be five more).
 One. Day. At. A. Time.
 So I think that will be my new motto- One day at a time, Lord. One day at a time.

 "The past is history,
 Tomorrow is a mystery,
 But today is a gift,
 That is why they call it the present."
 (That's a little something I got from Kung Fu Panda)

 And here's a little snippet from the Bible:
  "Be careful (full of care; worried) for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.
 And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus." -Phil. 4:6-7


 This is me putting my fears on the shelf.
 This is me stepping forward in faith.

 And since I live in constant fear of life, I have decided to start anti-fear therapy for the Summer. Stay tuned in to my blog for updates on that.
  It's gonna be gut-wrenchingly exciting.
    It's gonna be terrifyingly awesome.
   
 And now, since I'm writing it in this blog, it's a commitment. No backing out.
  Breathe, Sam. Breathe.
 Ready or not world, here I come.

"for such a time as this..."

I found a verse today that I wanted to share. 

"But ye are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, an holy nation, a peculiar people; that ye should shew forth the praises of him who hath called you out of darkness into his marvellous light:" -1 Peter 2:9

We, as Christians, are a chosen people, to show forth God's praises! I was thinking about a verse in Esther. Here is a blurb: "and who knoweth whether thou art come to the kingdom for such a time as this?"

God put you in your generation for a reason. Sometimes we hear people say, "I should have been born in such and such a time." No, you were meant to be born in this time. You were placed here for a purpose. Yield yourself to God and let Him work that purpose in you, as in Romans 12:1-2. Look it up.

The Perfect Valentine

 Today I was thinking about who I love. His name is Jesus.
 Here is a bit of my testimony. When I was in my teen years, I greatly feared God. I was afraid that I wasn't giving Him enough of my time. I was constantly feeling guilty if I did anything other than read my Bible in my spare time. It was sort of a disease of my mind. I had the wrong idea about who God is. 
 Romans 8:15 says, "For ye have not received the spirit of bondage again to fear; but ye have received the Spirit of adoption, whereby we cry, Abba, Father."
 That is such a dear verse to me. God loves me- He is my Father. 
 In these years of singleness that the Lord has blessed me with and even after I marry- He is my Valentine. It is my desire that He have my heart. I would say He has my heart, but honestly, some days that just isn't true. It's a daily struggle. Overall, I am quite the happy individual though.
 That is the end of this blog post. Has He delivered you from your bondage? The popular Christmas song says that Santa knows we're all God's children. Not so. (John 8:44) The only way to the Father is by Jesus Christ (John 14:6). I just thought I'd end with that. It seems that many people have the wrong idea of who God is the way I used to. Here's a tip: Read your Bible to find out who God is. Really study it, don't just take the preacher's word for it. Don't take the evangelist's word for it. Don't take my word for it. Study your Bible.

A Man's Ego & an Angel's Humility

  Here are a couple of things from my Bible study this week that I think are worth sharing.
 Firstly, there is Abimelech's death in Judges 9. Abimelech and his armies pursued a group of people and sort of treed them in a tower(seriously, I'm thinking Rapunzel here). They are trying to kill the people in the tower, so they attempt to burn the door down. Then, a woman dropped a piece of millstone out of the tower and busted Abimelech's head open! Read his response in verse 54-
 "Then he called hastily unto the young man his armourbearer, and said unto him, Draw thy sword, and slay me, that they men say not of me, A woman slew him. And his young man thrust him through, and he died."
 I was struggling to read Judges because it is kind of bloody, but I laughed so hard when Abimelech didn't want people to think that a woman killed him. That kind of attitude is still going on!
 And second, on a more serious note, I loved the story in Judges 13. The Angel of the Lord came to announce the coming of Samson and give instruction for his rearing.
 This is what I liked: Although the Angel was amazing, he didn't want any glory. It just struck a thought that people care so much about Angels sometimes, that they are magnified above God. I do not believe that is the right thing to do. Angels are fascinating, but God created them. He deserves the praise and glory. (Read Colossians 1:16-17)

 Comment below and tell me what you learned in Bible study this week!

 *Note: I reserve the right to remove cruel or irrelevant comments. ;)

Be Thankful

"The hearing ear, and the seeing eye, the LORD hath made even both of them." Proverbs 20:12

I heard a couple of people talking a while back. Man A was angry at the Lord.
Man B said, "Why are you angry with the Lord? Hasn't He done so many good things for you?"
Man A said, "No, He has never done anything for me."
Man B said, "You have eyes to see and ears to hear; The Lord did that for you."
Good point.

"Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of lights, with whom is no variableness, neither shadow of turning." James 1:17

I guess someone else would say, "So, if God gives us our eyes and ears, then why are some people born blind or deaf?" That reminds me of a story in the book of John.

 "And as Jesus passed by, he saw a man which was blind from his birth. And his disciples asked him, saying, Master, who did sin, this man, or his parents, that he was born blind? Jesus answered, Neither hath this man sinned, nor his parents: but that the works of God should be made manifest in him." (9:1-3)

 Jesus goes on to heal the blind man, thus showing the works of God. There are many instances though, when Jesus does not heal someone from blindness. I believe He can still manifest the works of God in someone through an illness. In fact, the Bible says so in 2 Cor. 12:9. Go read it. 2 Cor. 1:4 is another good one.

Be thankful for your eyes and ears, if you have them. Let God use it to His glory if you don't have them.

Intro: Why this Blog?

 I'm finally getting past the time in my life when people asked, "What college are you going to?" After a few years of people asking, I got really tired of answering, "Oh, I'm not in college." They would proceed to ask me about my job, which was another, "Oh, I don't have a job." I felt like a lazy bum in their eyes. Especially when they would ask me, "Well, what do you do?" 

 Pause for awkward laughter. 

 Because, maybe I'm not like other people my age. But I'm finally ok with that...kind of. 

 I have had an illness for six years now that has caused me a great deal of inconvenience. I did not get to go to college, I had to quit my job, and I never joined the dating scene when my friends did. I moped about for a while. Why me? Why me? But then, when I realized that my illness wasn't going anywhere, I decided that I had to do something or I would go crazy!

 That's why I read. My brain is probably the healthiest part of my body right now. I'm using that to my advantage. My purpose for learning isn't just to be smarter. I like biology for two reasons. One, it's helpful to know how things work; Two, it helps me worship God. Every time I learn something amazing about the human body or an animal or something, I look up at God and say, "Wow, You did that! It's awe-some!" As for English, well, I like communications. I LOVE words and I want to know how to better communicate what I am trying to say. Reading the Bible really goes without saying. Not reading my Bible is like not eating breakfast. I can't go for very long before I fall over dead. :)

 For this blog, I just want to share some stuff I'm learning with my friends and family and whoever else cares to read it. I hope that you can learn some stuff that you didn't know and maybe leave my blog saying, "Wow, God is AMAZING!" It wouldn't be because of my writing of course, because I'm nothing special, but I hope I can point to God and He can take it from there.

The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and instruction. Prov. 1:7

(Oh look, my first lesson! :)